my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
