So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
