I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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