is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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