plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
