drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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