I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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