didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
