I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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