the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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