Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
