Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
