Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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