What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize