I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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