Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize