I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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