If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
