Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
