You're completely useless in the revolution.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
