Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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