He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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