id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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