So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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