Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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