apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
