Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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