I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
