handjob tips. give me some.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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