just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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