My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
