once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
