You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
