I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
