Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
