Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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