my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
