Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
