pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
