yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
