If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
