so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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