I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
