brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
