I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize