U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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