Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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