Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize