well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
