This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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