i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
