she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
