worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
