Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
