I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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