Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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