Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
