so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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