She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
