are you still at the devil's house?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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