can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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