i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Someone came in the potted fern
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
