Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
